[Most Recent Entries] [Calendar View] [Friends]
Below are the 8 most recent journal entries recorded in
sunhawk6498's InsaneJournal:
| Thursday, July 15th, 2010 | |
| 2:10 am | Work I hate my job. Not every day mind you but more often than not I come home drained of my will to live or irritated and its just not fulfilling at all. I constantly have the feeling I'm going to be fired. I haven't truely meshed with my team and my manager has commented that I'm so quiet. That's because when I'm not directly interacting with the customers I'm always fucking up it feels like. Like today. I was working with S and I have no connectivity with her. I can't tell you if she likes me, hates me, just wants to get her time over with so she can leave or what. I spend most of the 3 hours we overlapped today working one side of the area, trying desperately to get the clothes put away for closing shift but every time I make a dent in the pile more are added. In addition, I frequently need to go back to ring up customers. For the most part I don't see S at all. It is my understanding that whoever is doing her side of the area is supposed to keep an eye on the register b/c they can actually see the register for the most part. So that was frustrating and irritating and kinda made me mad b/c I had so much stuff to put away and I don't know if she had less stuff to put away or if it was just the fact she puts clothes away faster than me but she had a clean fitting room and I so totally didn't. So I finally manage to put away enough stuff that there's room on the cart for customers to put away clothes when they're done trying them on so I go to put away dresses which are half-way across the store practically. I tell S where I'm going and take back a couple of big armfuls of clothes. When I get back she tells me that there's a cartful of clothes in the fitting room. I answer that I'm well aware of that; everytime I put one bunch of clothes away it gets filled up. After some reflection I realize she was probably telling me that as an fyi instead of a reproach and I feel like an utter bitch; I worked my ass off to try to clean the fitting room out and failed which makes me not happy; and this will probably get reported to my manager when she gets back from vacation by the manager who was also there and gave me this look of omg did you just say that? I am just not getting any job satisfaction here. I'm consistantly failing to live up to my own expectations and while there are a couple of people I really like, the hours are too few to really work with anyone consistantly and get to know them and it just doesn't seem like a team effort working with them. In conclusion, I need a new job. |
| Sunday, June 6th, 2010 | |
| 1:36 am | Well, I hope that K acts way different when she moves in with S. Otherwise I feel sorry for the girl. 90 - 95% of the K is 'tired' and doesn't want to talk with any of us or do anything to help around the house. I know I'm not a exactly great with helping out around the house but the dishes do get done within 24 hours, I will volunteer to do other chores, and I'm more than willing to pitch in when asked. So far... not so much K. I miss my sister who was my friend. |
| Tuesday, May 4th, 2010 | |
| 9:47 pm | I think it's getting better with K now. Today she asked me to go out and do something and we talked abit. She actually brought up the subject of money and I gave her my half of the phone bill money. Wiped out most of what I had left but fair's fair and I want to provide positive feedback for dialogue. Tomorrow I start working instead of training. I hope it goes well and I don't make too many mistakes. I hate feeling stupid. |
| Monday, May 3rd, 2010 | |
| 2:26 am | Why are song bird singing outside my window at 2:30 in the morning? Aren't they supposed to be asleep? @.@ |
| Thursday, April 29th, 2010 | |
| 3:52 pm | *sigh* It's been so frustrating to live with K. She has the communication skills of a rock. But only with me. She only exhibits two emotions. Randomly friendly and overbearing with a side of pushing her weight around (though I suspect she regards it as affection) and stonily silent (with the stated cause of "tired" or "headache"). I -know- she's not happy. And not happy with me but she so hates confrontation that she absolutely won't say what she's unhappy about. And I know she is because she'll tell our mother what she's unhappy about. And that's no solution. For one thing, it's not fair to Mom. And now that we're back in Texas, she's moved to total avoidance. Like -that's- going to solve anything. And it hurts me. It took reading a Cracked article to pinpoint why but she has no emotional availability. So my solution is to return the avoidance because as far as I can tell what she wants from me is for me to leave her alone and not talk or interact with her at all. But last time I tried to do that for some inexplicable reason she responded by becoming more friendly and wanting to hang out more so I'm confused as to what exactly she expects me to do. I have to admit I'm to the point that I just want her to hurry the fuck up and move out with her friend already because a house is so much emptier with another person that;s completely ignoring you than a house that's actually empty. |
| Monday, March 29th, 2010 | |
| 9:25 pm | I have my first interview in fucking years! Real interview at least. Don't really count temp agencies. So fucking pumped. Only problem was that it's in San Antonio and I'm still in Ohio. Thank god Mom and Dad were willing to help me out with plane tickets. I so so so want this job. It's not even a great job but I think I'll enjoy it and a job is a job and I desperately need one and it'll make moving back in yet again so much better. I really don't want be a burden again. So yes! Interview! |
| 7:55 pm | You know, I just don't understand my sister. We share an apartment. And she often doesn't want to spend time with me. So we started watching Dead Like Me. The first couple of episodes. And I went out and came back and she was watching episode 3. She was just 14 minutes in to it so I asked that she start it over so we could watch it together. She instead decided that she wouldn't watch it at all. And now, a week or so later, she was watching it in her room. I asked if she wanted to watch with me and she said I was too far ahead. I asked her if she was tired or mad (the two look alike on her) and she said she was a little tired and a little irritated that I had made her start over because I was obviously willing to watch the show by myself. I just don't get her. Yeah, I wanted to watch it with her and I said as much but she showed no inclination to watch when we were both in the living room or said anything. I can't read her mind and that seems to be the only way I could have known what she wanted. And I continue to be baffled. |
| Friday, January 25th, 2008 | |
| 6:09 pm | Dental Woes Well, on Tuesday I had to get my number two molar extracted. The cavity was too big and the tooth couldn't be saved. It was the worst experience of my life I think. Everyone was right; it didn't hurt at all but the mental aspect of it was horrible. I was breathing nitrous and still had to be reminded to a: breathe or b: breathe deeply instead of hyperventilating. Not having insurance sucks. |